Losses

What can I say?
What went wrong?
Time passed,
our friendship died,
I tried,
Oh God I really did try.
We used to be each others safe gaurd,
our support when we needed it.
Now you've left me back here,
alone.
What can I say?
How do I make the pain go away?
When you look at me now,
you look through me.
You look past me,
and away.
I realized what was happening,
I realized maybe if I said ,
it was over,
you would care.
You would come back.
I told you how I felt.
I told you it was over,
a long friendship done.
I wanted you to care.
I wanted you to try.
Instead you looked me in the eyes,
and you said Goodbye.
No arguements no nothing,
not even a sad look.
I wanted you to fight,
for me!
For our friendship!
Yet you just said Goodbye.
As the tears pooled in my eyes,
I looked away from you.
I looked down.
I looked back.
At the memories of what had been a perfect past.
You didn't say another word,
you just turned and left me standing there.
When we see each other now,
I know in your eyes I no longer exist.
You look through me,
you look around me.
You don't ever look at me.
You don't ever speak to me.
Maybe it is because you know how you hurt me?
Maybe it is because you truly never cared about me?
Maybe, maybe it is because I was just a thing for you?
Years pass,
and I haven't seen you once since that moment.
And you know what?
The feelings haven't faded.
The tears still fall,
every night.
My heart is still broken in half,
and I know nothing can make it right.
I don't know where you are now,
I don't know what you became.
But I have come to a stand still,
a neutral ground for my feelings.
I love you still,
for the past memories even if they are now painful.
I love you still,
for teaching me this lesson.
Because of you I have gone far.
I have done the best I can.
I have proved everyone wrong,
because of how you hurt me.
I have strived to be better,
to make it farther.
And I have.
So, for that I truly thank you.
But I will always hate you,
for what you have done to me.